Who Am I Reflection

In the beginning of the semester, I remember answering the question "Who Am I?" with a quote. I simply couldn't describe certain qualities or characteristics about myself when knowing that I'm consistently changing and improving myself. So I settled on a quote that advocated we are the little things we do each and everyday: we are the books we read, the films we watch, the people we talk to, the decisions we chose to make and the decisions we don't make.

Sociology has taught me that we are a manifestation of things we don't have control over. Who we are is based on our environment, nature and nurture coincide to raise us to our full potential. Sociology has made me become aware of the social construction of my environment, and how I must be empathetic and understanding of diversity--rather than try to categorize myself, as well as others.

One of the most important things I've learned in sociology is that those who are in the poor working class have very minimal chances of rising above poverty--regardless if they contribute to the community and work. This has made me realize that wealth does not exist without the poor, and that the American Dream is not necessarily prosperous for all.

Thinking about answering the question, "Who Am I?" after taking sociology has made me think about much more than just myself. I am more than my favorite things, the people I talk to, or what I choose to do in my free time. I am a part of culture, just as culture is flourished by me. I am connected through nature and the self cannot exist without a nourishing community.

Crash

The movie Crash we watched in sociology uniquely incorporated an entertaining way to communicate implicit and explicit racism in the United States. Implicit racism is where racism may be implied, or carried out in an unspoken rule; whereas explicit racism is when individuals are openly acting on their prejudices. I enjoyed the movie Crash because all of the characters introduced in the movie were associated among one another throughout some point in the movie. By  having the characters' paths cross, it was evident how racism fluctuated through implicit and explicitly. It was interesting to see the impact of racism on an individual, and how they reciprocated the racism onto another individual. It made me realize that racism is prevalent in our society because it acts as a cycle; where those who feel culturally defeated must be domineering in order to regain their confidence. Because humans are intrinsically aggressive, racism which acts in a cycle may never fully subside in society.

Deviance

Although I'm aware of what deviance is, discussing it in sociology allowed me to view how deviance may effect those in society. Deviance is violating the norms of society and is relative to time and place. Those who are deemed deviant in society rarely outgrow their stigma. For instance, those who are in the lower class with those who abuse the law, yet they themselves stay above the law, are deemed deviant for being associated with a disobedient lifestyle. This reminded me how I am sometimes deemed deviant for being friends with those who got in trouble with the drug bust last year. Although I may not associate myself with the incident or pertaining to what led up to the incident, I sometimes carry a deviant stigma for remaining friends with those who got in trouble. Going over deviance in sociology has caused me to become more socially aware of how prejudice and judgement impacts the one's role in society.

Social Construction of Race

Growing up in a country withstanding its reputation as a melting-pot of cultures, America is much more race conscious than the majority of countries around the world. Sociologists have uncovered race to be constructed through different bias societies, as race is not biological. Each culture has constructed its own view of race and different ways to identify one's cultural make-up. For instance, some Latin-American countries attain over one hundred racial terms to describe not only their skin color, but their diverse ethnicity. Most Americans would classify themselves strictly based upon skin color, rather than identify themselves as a hybrid of their ethnicity. This is especially ironic for Americans, as they preach cultural diversity but tend to differentiate individuals based upon skin color.

I believe there should not be a social stigma for identifying race; for it may  be differently identified in different parts of the world. We are becoming more racially integrated as globalization is increasing, and we must leave our prejudices in the past and embrace the growing cultural diversity.

Poverty in America

Discussing poverty in sociology last week has immensely broadened my view of the working class in America. The most interesting thing I learned was that living on minimum wage is no longer sufficient to survive enough to live on. As prices are slowly inflating, the minimum wage fails to cater the financial needs of of the working poor. For no matter how hard the poor must work, the minimum wage is not enough to provide for everyday basic needs. Because of this, it is almost irrevocable for the working poor to overcome poverty or rise above their social class. I believe it's important for the government to give more attention to the issues the working class poor posses and to ultimately raise minimum wage.

Devisions in Social Class

Going over the devisions in social class this week opened up my understanding and empathy towards those living in poverty. Originally I have accepted the fact that those who live in poverty are poor simply because of unfortunate circumstances. We tend to ridicule those in poverty for choosing not to contribute to society and live off of welfare. Although this may be the case, and often exaggerated by the media, it's important to understand that the majority of American society is out of touch with the difficulties to be raised in poverty. Regardless if adults decide to decline the welfare opportunity and get a job, it's quite difficult to search for a job in poor rural areas because jobs are not always available and transportation is a huge hindrance. Moreover, those raised in poverty are not always given the opportunity to achieve an exceptional education in order to strive outside of the poor social class. I learned from the documentary that those who are in the working-poor social class may be just as dedicated to succeed as the upper middle class. I believe it's important to not discriminate against the working poor and not ridicule them as welfare-bums because if we cannot relate to their experiences, nor their social struggles.

Community Service

This Friday I volunteered at a soup kitchen, called A Just Harvest in Chicago, in order to receive a few hours of community service for class. I was there from 5 to 8 and stayed a bit after to help clean up before my father would pick me up. I went with a group of students who were also in sociology. I completely put myself out of my comfort zone to volunteer on a whim. Although sociology taught me how diverse the communities are that I'm not apart of, I primarily learned to not judge individuals' intellect based upon their social class. I encountered a man who took philosophy courses at a community college who  was excited to rant to me about his epiphanies about life. Meeting this man altered my perception of the negative intellectual stigma associated with lower class individuals; for they may strive to be educated intellectually, as well as educated about the society manifesting around them.

While I was serving one man his water, he had the propensity to thank me for being there. He was the only person to do so and caught me off guard, so all I managed to do was look back at him with a smile and reply "Of course." Although I knew that volunteering at the soup kitchen was good in itself, it was important for me that the person I was helping validated that what I was doing was important and recognized.

More so than being a learning experience, volunteering at the soup kitchen inspired me to continue doing community service, for it's a moral obligation to give back to your community.

How Culture Effects Masculinity

In sociology we questioned society's ethics indicating gender roles and how this effects national tragedies.  Particularly how masculinity is associated with power, violence, and dominance, we were able to decipher the types of tragedies instigated by caucasian middle class males who were bullied and emasculated.

This unit is prevalently seen in the Boston phenomenon that occurred recently this week. Although the suspects are not identified to be caucasian, they nonetheless felt like pariahs in the American culture and were socially disconnected from American society. We often ask ourselves who would do such a thing or how deranged and neurotic individuals must be to carry out these tragedies. But perhaps sociology is much more credible than we think. Because the suspects felt disconnected from American culture, and were minorities, they perhaps felt devalued in American society. By feeling inferior, the suspects could have felt that they're voices as becoming citizens were unheard and irrelevant: thus as men in American culture they were not powerful, nor dominant enough, to be recognized. Ultimately resulting in showing their masculinity and dominance through violence in the Boston Bombing.

What I find to be the most interesting is how Boston's tragedy parallels the numerous Anarchist bombings in the 1920s (i.e Wall Street bombing 1920, Anarchist Bombings 1919). How the Sacco and Vanzetti court case eagerly criminalized and discriminated against Italians and new immigrants entering the country in the '20s parallels our national discrimination against muslims and our eagerness to pin the Boston Bombing on Muslim Terrorists due to the Iraq War.

Several decades later,  most Americans are still nationalistic and wrapped up in caucasian dominance. Although globalization is increasing and multiculturalism is taught throughout schools in the nation, Americans cannot seem to shake the elements of discrimination in our society. More importantly, Americans need to realize the damaging effects of preaching multiculturalism, yet attaining a sense of discrimination, may effect becoming citizens and the future of the country.

The Un-TV

While doing the Un-TV experiment, it became much easier to master ''doing-nothing;" and by doing nothing, I became aware of the stigma that occurs from watching TV as well as the effects it has on our lives.

The Un-TV experiment reminded me that the TV is a form of entertainment whereas I have a predetermined mentality that when I turn the TV on, I want to be entertained. Although some may argue that watching TV morphs people into zombies and essentially becomes a black-hole in reality, I believe it depends on your mindset. For instance, if you're going to the theater to watch a play, ballet, or opera you're looking to be entertained; though we tend not to morph into zombies when we watch these events. We often watch the show and seem to be drawing opinions about the characters, connecting the story line, drawing thematic conclusions, and over all analyzing the scenes before our eyes. The difference being, from watching these events and going to the movie theater and watching TV for entertainment, is that these shows are live and don't have technical events to keep us from blinking and glued to our entertainment. So why do people tend to zone-out and not think about what they're watching? Why do people become dormant when they watch TV instead of analyze the interactions among individuals?

I believe that the reason TV watching is associated with lazy couch-potatoes is because the majority of those who turn on the TV usually try to watch something to de-stress their mind, relax, have something to do while they wait, etc. Couch-potatoes aren't always necessarily looking to be entertained. While reading a book or magazine provides brain power, watching TV provides you instant relaxation by "zoning-out" with just a push of a button. Moreover, while going to the movies is associated as "doing something"--even though you're simply going out of the house to sit and do nothing--watching TV has a negative stigma, usually those who turn the TV on have trouble turning it off; while when you're at the movies, the movie you pay for only keeps you addicted to the screen for a set period of time, or when the movie is over.

Although many may make the case that TV controls our lives, or it's bad for us, or going to the movies is exactly like watching TV, I solely believe it depends on our mindset when we're entertained inside or outside of our homes. Similarly to spending hours on the internet, TV may be draining and may feel like it's sucking the minutes out of our day; though this doesn't mean that being effected by the TV is inevitable and only negative outcomes are possible. Just like most things in life, watching TV is what you make of it. Whether you want to become a lazy couch-potato or enjoy a few marathons of your favorite show, the TV is for entertainment--not to control you.

Is there such thing as too much attention?

Learning about abused feral children discovered in our generation made me understand how vital human interaction is in order for individuals to thrive. Although some may label themselves as introverts or choose to confine themselves in solitude, feral children are foreign to human affection and are left mentally, as well as physically, unfit to function in modern society. Unlike those of us who chose to distance ourselves from society, children who have been abandoned to be raised without human interaction develop differently and are denatured from human society.

Although most of us can agree that we enjoy getting attention whether it may be from preforming on stage, recognized academically, or simply complemented, these interactions influence the chemical balance in our brains that not only stimulate socialization, but help reach our fullest mental capacity. So perhaps we shouldn't condem those who thrive for attention to be pretentious because we all need human affection to mentally prosper.

This made me become more aware of how the debate between nature vs nurture may in fact be invalid, as both our environments, and the nurture process, allow us to achieve our fullest ability. Both nature and nurture work together to shape how we develop and to what extent we personally advance. Knowing that not all individuals are raised in a healthy environment, I was able to build upon the idea of sociological mindfulness; for not all individuals are given the opportunity to receive human affection and are not influenced and nurtured to the same extent.

An Extra Cheesy Love Post

Watching the movie Tuesday's with Morrie in sociology this week, it broadened my view of how the values of American culture unknowingly seep into the nooks and crannies of our character and personality.

In the movie, Morrie greatly emphasizes love. Love was ultimately a topic that made the protagonist uncomfortable as he typically saw love to be strictly romantic. Although I don't think we can judge whether it's a commonality for Americans to culturally to be afraid to love or to receive love, there are definitely cultural hindrances in America that may take away from a loving experience.

Americans value practicality, directness, and a strong work ethic; basically, Americans are do-ers. Because of these values, we tend to outlaw emotion-based decision making as our emotions typically don't guide us into accomplishing tasks on time, or make the work environment more professional. Americans tend to focus more on what needs to be accomplished and what they can do to achieve their long term goals, rather than advocate questions like "how do you feel about that?" Because the American culture promotes individuals to become do-ers, this has altered a complete perception of our emotions as we're not accustomed, nor see those around us, to be publicly emotional. Therefore, love is a topic that most view to be strictly romantic because what we see in movies, books, and even national holidays like Valentine's day target love to be a sappy emotion that only couples share.

However, the protagonist in the movie realizes the love he shares with Morrie is not romantic but nonetheless love. Morrie helps the protagonist become comfortable with his emotions when the protagonist shows his love for Morrie through his tears and deep grief for Morrie's decaying when he breaks down in irrevocable sobs. This is a huge turning point for the protagonist as he is no longer afraid to feel deep emotion, show his mourning through tears, and he ultimately learns how to express his love.

As a culture, I believe that it's not whether we fail to accept or give love, I believe we don't know how to love. Love is felt between those who we would feel lost, lonely, and incomplete without. Love allows us to put others first and put our egos aside. You may love someone differently than you love someone else simply because the relationships we poses with others are not all the same, nor the people or circumstances. Although love is often over-complicated, it should be simple. If you love someone, romantically or not, you will always find a way to stay together--and everything else will follow. American culture is warped up in innovative technology, progressiveness, due dates, and work ethic; but we don't always learn how to love.

Cultural Numbness

The concept of subcultures and cultural values were the main focuses of class this week. The discussions in class orbited around how we, as Americans, view our culture and how it subconsciously influences our character and decisions.


Although I thought being bicultural would elevate my perception of American cultural and values, I discovered how these values shaped me as a person much more than I hoped. Reading Kohl's "Values American's Live by" in class, Kohl explains for Americans to more direct, honest, and casual in their manners and habits than other cultures. When I'm greeting my friends or meeting my parents' work friends, I often use the same greeting--usually a form of 'hello' or 'how are you.' Whereas in Russian culture, there are different forms of saying hello that should be appropriately used depending on different types of situations and what is deemed more respectful.


Kohl also points out that Americans are in no way humble in their opinions, as they're eager to deliver their evaluations, and "...consider anything other than the most direct and open approach to be dishonest and insincere and will quickly lose confidence in and distrust anyone who hints at what is intended rather than saying it outright." Ironically, Americans are good at tucking cultural issues under the carpet just well as they deliver evaluations. For instance, Chris Jordan in his TED talk points out that more than 400,000 people die from the addiction of cigarette smoking every year. We seem to look at this number lacking empathy because the statistic is so great and intangible that it doesn't register in our minds. Compared to the response that reverberated around the world of the 3,000 deaths of Americans in 9/11, and will continue to be talked about through history. Jordan makes the connection that 1,100 Americans died due to cigarette smoking on the same day of 9/11, and 1,100 Americans will continue to pass away each day from smoking; though as a culture we dismiss the cigarette statistic and create excuses that the tobacco lobbyists are too powerful, or that it's out of our personal control to regulate. He also advocates that one third of all deaths caused by overdoses are due to the overdoses of over the counter prescription medication. Such statistical data Jordan points out is measured on such an enormous scale, that we're unable to perceive how largely it affects our culture; and as a result, we don't do much about it. Americans tend to dismiss these cultural phenomenons as it has numbness our sense of assertiveness. Although as Americans we may take pride in our verbal directness and honesty, it's important to approach these values from an opposite angle, and comprehend how they affect us on a larger, cultural scale.

The Lost Boys

Expanding upon our discussions of culture shock, we watched a movie about refugees coming to America and experiencing modern culture, it's titled God Grew Tired of Us. It was very interesting to see The Lost Boys, or the refugees, to encounter things that we deem to be simplistic; such as donuts, light switches, balloons, and packaged snacks.

As the movie went in depth of their experience, the Lost Boys discussed how they were very lonely in American culture; not because they didn't know anyone, but because Americans are not as nearly friendly or open as African cultures are in Sudan. The Lost Boys explained that Sudanese typically welcome newcomers in their house, and like to spend their time with large groups of friends and family. While in America, we typically call the cops if strangers persist to meet us in our own households and we live by "solitude is bliss."

Watching the movie made me largely aware of how isolated American culture really is. Of course everyone enjoys company once and awhile, or we like to have someone to tag along with to go to the movies, but Americans are much more independent than most cultures. Perhaps this is because of the American Dream, and at a young age we're all taught that we're in a land of opportunities where we must strive for our own personal success to become the very best we can be. The American Dream itself exemplifies the competitiveness between individuals, causing us to focus on our internal goals and do what is necessary for ourselves.

Although the Lost Boys ultimately came to America to achieve the American Dream, this also means that they'll be greatly influenced by the isolationist American culture. Perhaps Americans should take a break from blaming technology for their hindered communication, and reflect upon how naturally lonely American culture can be.

Supernatural

One of the most interesting topics we focused on in sociology this week was culture shock. Feeling disoriented, or out of place, in a new cultural environment is described as culture shock. My previous post about my confusion of the "black-hole" washing machines in England would serve the best example of complete and utter confusion of culture shock; however, a more cultural-difference type of example came to mind.

My family originally came to America from Russia and experiencing a culture shock, on any level, was inevitable. Growing up on the borderline of American and Russian culture, I have come to notice certain cultural differences. The most captivating and unique difference that I've recognized are the types of superstitions present in each culture.

Russians are known to be quite superstitious. If you leave the house to later realize that you've forgotten something, it's considered bad luck to return for the item. Or if you've returned for the item, you mustn't dare look at your reflection in the mirror. Whistling inside the house or opening up your umbrella inside the house is a taboo, and if you're afraid to stir the negative energies in the universe and jinx yourself, you must spit across your shoulder three times. And there are many, many more.

Though Russians seem to take their superstitions seriously, the American superstitions that I can recall have been introduced to me, by my friends when we were kids, as we tried to scare each other with supernatural stories. For instance, you must lift your feet in any moving vehicle when going over train tracks or under a bridge. Holding your breath or touching something red when passing a graveyard will save you from the frightening supernatural energies of the universe.

The only common superstitions I could muster up are that to not jinx anything you must knock on wood, and if a black cat crosses the street before you--you better turn around and find a new path.

Although some may find superstitions to be humorous or absurd, all cultures commonly contain superstitions or rituals in hope to scare off the spooky supernatural energies. Being in a different cultural environment and encountering someone doing a ''supernatural ritual'' may definitely leave you culture-shocked; not only because the individual's actions may seem completely out of the ordinary without any warning, but because it's interesting to encounter cultures that have very different superstitions  We often leave superstitions for the gullible, but more often we find ourselves obeying them simply because we know deep down we don't want to disturb the cosmic demons.

A Bronx Tale

The movie A Bronx Tale demonstrated several topics that were previously discussed in class. The movie is told from the point of view Calogero, who is brought up in a culturally enriched Italian village in the Bronx, NY. The macro dynamics that establish the racism seen in the movie is because of the time period. While Calogero was growing up, there was extreme racism and segregation throughout America. Thus, a majority of Americans, as well as teenagers and adults, were prejudice towards African Americans simply because America had a harsh prejudice past that influenced further generations. Such racism was carried over into the Italian village not only because segregation was promoted in America, but perhaps Italian immigrants have not been accustomed to seeing African Americans and thus alienated them. Calogero was taught by his father, as well as Sonny, to not be prejudice towards African Americans. Moreover, by romantically perusing an African American girl, Calogero insists that he is not a radical racist and tries to distance himself from this reputation. This ultimately exemplifies the sociological micro dynamics. However in this case, the macro dynamics overpowered the micro dynamics as Calogero inevitably verbalized racist comments.

Calogero belongs to several groups. Apart from classifying him as a teenager attending high school, he may be classified as an Italian/ Italian American, or an immigrant. However, I believe that he is apart of a smaller group between himself and Sonny. Calogero's master status definitely changes as his nickname becomes C, and he gains respect from the men around his community. Similarly to C, I believe my master status has changed growing up. I've become more aware of how life functions outside of my personal problems and fears. My master status has grown from being a daughter to a friend simply because--even as cheesy as it may sound--I am consistently there for my friends and being a good friend is something that I really value and is more than just a status to me.  

Discrimination

"In" and "out" groups was one of the interesting highlights discussed in class this week. In groups are groups that we classify ourselves in while out groups are something we don't see ourselves to be a part of. This was uniquely tied into the discrimination video we watched in class regarding an experiment where a teacher segregated blue eyes from brown eyes in order to show children the negative and unethical effects of discrimination. It was interesting to see how children who were in the "out groups," typically the unfavorable brown eyed group, were behaving towards being neglected as they thought it was so silly to be discriminated and talked down to merely because of their eye color. This experiment was ultimately practiced to teach children not to discriminate against other races. So although most can agree that racial discrimination among African Americans in the country has subsided, Americans have become more discriminating towards the Hispanic culture. For instance as seen in this picture:

The first sign indicates children must be supervised to play on the playground whereas the second sign translates into: "you must have a permit to play on this field" and police action will be taken against violators. The message in English doesn't come close to what is being translated in Spanish--implying that those who do not speak English and are Hispanic are not welcome to integrate playing with other children . So although the Jim Crow laws are dormant, racial prejudice has not left parts of America and is being practiced on playgrounds; thus it is also teaching children discrimination. We may be taught that discriminating against African Americans in America is wrong based on American events in history, but it's more important to not only learn from these lessons but to apply them elsewhere in the future.

Week Two

Social construction of reality is one of the topics we discussed in Sociology this week. Social construction of reality essentially is how society shapes or forms social norms. This theory is often used to compare and contrast cultural differences or reveal certain contradictory stigmas in society.

This reminded me of when I went to London to visit family friends with my family. When we arrived in Wimbledon, naturally the first thing we did was celebrate our families re-uniting with a feast. As I was helping around the kitchen, I noticed one of the hosts started pulling cloths out of what I thought to be a dishwasher. I was so incredibly puzzled that somehow I reached the conclusion that there must be a black-hole where the cloths get sucked into the dishwasher and you had to fetch them in time for them to be clean--and naturally this black hole existed in the dishwasher. After fantasizing about this, I realized I was just imagining things because I was exhausted from traveling all day.  But my eyes did not deceive me and this woman was literally pulling cloths out of the kitchen dishwasher. It was later brought to my attention that this black-hole that majestically spit back clean clothing was not in fact a black-hole but a washing-machine. Although in the U.S we have ''mud-rooms" where we do our laundry and wash our cloths, in England it's customary to acquire a washing-machine right next to the dishwasher in the kitchen. In America, we might think this to be unsanitary--reason being we like to separate our dirty cloths from our dirty dishes. Though in England, not only are they being eco-friendly by not acquiring so many machines to wash their things, but England is much smaller than the U.S and houses/apartments are often congested because they were constructed a hundred years ago. So there is no room for them to create separate rooms for washing their cloths. The social construction of reality for Americans might be that they find this to be very appalling and abnormal, but what's so strange about washing your cloths alongside a dishwasher if the items that are being washed are kept separate. I mean, it's all being washed anyway, right?

Above is a picture of what a typical kitchen would look like with a washing machine.

Week One

The when and where we live, known as sociological imagination, as well as respecting how others differentiate from us culturally, socially, physically, and emotionally, known as sociological mindfulness, were the building blocks of sociology for our class this week. Although I find myself to have the propensity to appreciate and respect individuals around me, it was interesting to learn how these terms were coined and how effective they may be to society. I found sociological imagination to almost be an excuse. For instance, if people were debating whether women's 50's retro dresses are socially acceptable to wear in public--it depends on the when and where. The theory of sociological imagination falls into the cracks of modern day relativism and essentially provides a murky answer. I originally understood the basics of sociological imagination when I reminisced about my trip to Paris, France last summer. My family and I were visiting my mom's friends and they coincidentally had a girl that was my age. I thought it was so strange to see native french people modernly dressed conversing with one another, riding their bikes (which surprisingly is fad in Paris), walking from shop to shop running daily errands in such an antique and historical city. It didn't register with me that humanity modernized, as people were modernly dressed and effected by technology, though the city didn't age a bit. All of the beautiful buildings from the French Revolution, original cobblestones and alleyways,  patisseries from the nineteenth century, the entire city still consists of its original archetype. It was interesting to see the contrast between this girl, who was my age, growing up in the same generation as me, in a culturally rich society--not to mention in the most beautiful city in the world--and me growing up in the suburbs half way across the world. I really enjoyed conversing with her and appreciating what I could learn from her culture. She mainly told me about the concerts and art exhibitions she goes to in different places throughout Europe (since the countries all rely on the Euro and have railway systems to make transportation real easy), and how her sister studies in a different country each semester. This really reminded me how much they value traveling in Europe--not only just for fun but that it's important to experience a full rounded education academically and culturally. Versus in America we value standardized tests, such as the ACT, and don't focus so much on the benefits of traveling. So although we both may have experienced similar events in our life, the when and were/ or environment around us is really the base of our values and ethics. The cultural fusion I experienced that week in France exposed me to an unique social norm in which I was able to respect the environment and culture around me.

Who Am I?

Although I'm still in the process of figuring out who I am, one of the most important things I've learned is that life goes on and we must not be burdened with our mistakes. I believe there is so much more to life than what the boundaries of society inscribe around us, and it's up to us to discover it within ourselves to see the beauty in life.

This quote often inspires me to continue to stay motivated by the things that truly make me happy:


"You are the books you read, the films you watch, the music you listen to, the people you meet, the dreams you have, the conversations you engage in. You are what you make from these. You are the sound of the ocean, the breaths of fresh air, the brightest light and the darkest corner. You are a collective experience you have had in your life. You are every single day. So drown yourself in a sea of knowledge and existence. Let the words run through your veins and let the colors fill your mind."